Its been a journey to say the least. We've been cloth diapering/wipes for over 7 months now, which sparked a lot of progress for us. I was shocked at all the chemicals in them and so close to her developing bottom. We are washing cloth paper towels and napkins now with my homemade laundry soap. We finally bought the reusable shopping bags and got some cool cloth produce/bulk rice/bean etc. bags. We have banned all chemicals in cleaning products and personal items. Im finally getting use to my shampoo not bubbling up, my tooth paste tasting gritty and my "mama pads" being washed and reused. Im ok with my makeup being tossed and replaced with better ones. Im still struggling with my nail polish though, not that i wear it often i just like owning it i guess. I cant tell you how many items ive had to look up. I cant believe how many rounds of accutane i was on, and to find out 15 years later it only took a clean diet and 7.99 natural facial cleanser to clear...sighs. The hard part is the food. Im doing pretty well with reading labels and narrowing down choices. When organics are better choices for which items. How animal friendly are farming practices. and how far did this blue berry travel to get here. There is so many unnecessary items in food. I just feel strange thinking how many hormones and antibiotics and pesticides are on things. Like why does bread have 35 ingredients?! for heavens sake i sat by my stove today nursing my mozzarella cheese. (ok so it turned out more like ricotta...lol back to youtube for me...lol) I dont want to be THAT girls who is like, ummm unless you can tell me farmer joe only 3 miles away hand picked that at 78 degrees i cant eat it. i dont want to feel pushy or arrogant or alienated. i get enough slack for my attachment parenting but thats another story all together.i just want whats best for my family. it all just boils down to my fear of another failure of nursing. Im still in "mourning" over the loss of breastfeeding. it makes me cringe every time i put that bottle of formula in her mouth. even though its organic soy it still as arsenic in it. *cringes* We are planning another pregnancy in the next 6 months and im just so afraid that it was something i did to cause my milk to never fully come in. Im afraid my medicated birth interfered. Im more afraid of nursing failure then anything else in pregnancy or labor. I gave every ounce of my strength and pumped so very faithfully to give her every drop i could. every 3 hours 24 hours a day for over 6 months is no joke. but so many products can affect your body and it makes me sick to think how many things are banned in europe and go unchecked here. there is cancer, obesity and heart disease that runs through my family and i just have to do something. clearly our fast passed, convince and "lowfat" lifestyles haven't helped us at all. i want to be there for my daughters children, i want her to grow up living a healthy environmentally friendly lifestyle, where she not only eats healthy unprocessed food, but knows and respects its sources, but i dont want her to be the weird outcast either. i dont know where the line between healthy and crazy fearful mom lies. I know i will have plenty of things to feel guilty for but i cant get past the fact of maybe something i had total control of caused my lactation problems. maybe there is nothing i can do about it, maybe i will never produce enough but spending $200 a month on importing illegal lactation pills cant be the answer. I have to make every effort to give them the very best chance in development, but i cant control everything. So this is my work in progress, and hopefully not my flavor of the week. Everyone thought i was crazy for choosing cloth diapers, but im so in love with them, and have had a couple converts along the way. i will eventually learn to balance precautions and living a happy full life. ok off my soap box for tonight...lol
zoeys doing pretty good. shes so funny now. and is such a strong personality. shes been taking steps, but keeps falling over. so it wont be long now. she says ba ba for bottle, da da for dad, and do for dog. hopefully mama is coming. jim had his first real fathers day today. i got them the cutest shirts and check out this video i made for him
Jims parents parents sold their house which is great for them but sad for us. They are moving across the country so zoey will see them a lot less often which is hard for us. we will have to get onto skype to keep in contact all the time :)
oh and check out our new family photo
