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Sunday, April 29, 2012

dipes are here!

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We got our new fuzzibunz in the mail. Having more dipes has really helped with the laundry issue. i dont feel so much pressure to keep having to wash and wash dipes for the next day. its been like 2 days since i have washed so im going to wash them tomorrow.

We had our weigh in for the family challenge tonight. I lost 5 lbs since last week. its hard my SIL has lost 19 total and ive only lost 10, technically 16 since ive started. but it just seems to be going slow. i need to step up the exercising. i want this next baby more then anything in the entire world, but i need for the baby to be healthy along with me. :)

im kinda stuck in my life right now, and jim and i kinda agree. we just feel all alone. there is no one like us. Like jim has a lot of friends, but i dont. i dont know anyone like us. like his friends are still in young party mode with drinking all the time with no real direction. we have no friends that are married, with children with a mortgage to pay....at 27 i think we should have more of that...but i really need more. i need a mom who cloth diapers, co sleep and baby wears. it just make me sad that we cant go out because i just dont fit in. sighs....

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

cloth diaper addict!

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Im going to have to get help now....jim ordered me 12 more fuzzibunz! well it was buy 5 get 1 free :) so that completes our stash at 28 ...lol yea right...i love fuzzi mail! i also picked up 16 more cloth wipes. im really hoping to get to every 2-3 days with this amount. and i thought i could use it now while shes still in them, cause i will need that much diapering a newborn in the future. im really excited to try cloth diapering from day one with any future children. zoey was 2 months old when we switched, after we used up all our gifted diapers. (though i have about 500 million disposable wipes. I will admit to using them in the diaper bag.

We had a great easter..dont you love our dresses, they were handmade with love..and no not by me...lol! Dayspring dresses on etsy is fabulous! check her out!






Whatelse is new?! zoey is getting pretty mobile. not crawling per say yet. she gets a couple feet and stops, id same more of a army crawl creep. she also is pulling up and crusing furniture and has stood on her own a couple times. maybe crawling is not for her...lol.

ill try to get a video up soon!

a sleeping baby that just needed Mama to hold her, upon my back, is just too precious.

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i got a new sling. my petunia pickle bottom was not cutting it anymore. it was really useful because of its size to just throw into the diaper bag but zoey is hanging around 19 lbs now so it was starting to wear on my shoulder and back.

She loves loves to be held all the time, but i really have things that need to get done around the house. and the throw the baby on the hip while trying to vacuum and cook was not working anymore for me....lol.

i did some research and decided to go on a moby wrap. it was alittle pricey i thought for 15 feet of fabric, but it is one of the cheaper versions and its user friendly and can easily be found. Jim bought mine at babies r us. they carry the chocolate and black colors. i got the black color,  i pretty much only own black clothes and thought it went with more of my outfits. but they do offer a huge array of colors and organics.




and i can say it took a bit getting use to but after a couple origami sessions in front of the mirror, we had lift off! she loves being wrapped up, she was swaddled till she learned to roll over...lol. shes fallen asleep in it twice now and has barely fussed at all. when i take her out she just sits and plays, almost like shes had enough cuddle time. but i was able to clean and do everything i needed to get done. jim could never understand how an hour chore could take me 2-3, its hard with a baby who constantly needs SOMETHING...lol. but im back on track and was even able to blog today! sweeeeetttt!

Im still learning a lot about baby wearing, and im so excited of all the wonderful things it can do for zoey, but most important it makes my life wayyyyy easier!

I found this on dr sears website....if you can take a look and read through it. its pretty interesting!

Benefits of Babywearing

1. Sling babies cry less. Parents in my practice commonly report, "As long as I wear her, she's content!" Parents of fussy babies who try babywearing relate that their babies seem to forget to fuss. This is more than just my own impression. In 1986, a team of pediatricians in Montreal reported on a study of ninety-nine mother-infant pairs. The first group of parents were provided with a baby carrier and assigned to carry their babies for at least three extra hours a day. They were encouraged to carry their infants throughout the day, regardless of the state of the infant, not just in response to crying or fussing. In the control, or noncarried group, parents were not given any specific instructions about carrying. After six weeks, the infants who received supplemental carrying cried and fussed 43 percent less than the noncarried group.
Anthropologists who travel throughout the world studying infant-care practices in other cultures agree that infants in babywearing cultures cry much less. In Western culture we measure a baby's crying in hours, but in other cultures, crying is measured in minutes. We have been led to believe that it is "normal" for babies to cry a lot, but in other cultures this is not accepted as the norm. In these cultures, babies are normally "up" in arms and are put down only to sleep – next to the mother. When the parent must attend to her own needs, the baby is in someone else's arms.
2. Sling babies learn more. If infants spend less time crying and fussing, what do they do with the free time? They learn! Sling babies spend more time in the state of quiet alertness . This is the behavioral state in which an infant is most content and best able to interact with his environment. It may be called the optimal state of learning for a baby. Researchers have also reported that carried babies show enhanced visual and auditory alertness.
The behavioral state of quiet alertness also gives parents a better opportunity to interact with their baby. Notice how mother and baby position their faces in order to achieve this optimal visually interactive plane. The human face, especially in this position, is a potent stimulator for interpersonal bonding. In the kangaroo carry, baby has a 180-degree view of her environment and is able to scan her world. She learns to choose, picking out what she wishes to look at and shutting out what she doesn't. This ability to make choices enhances learning. A sling baby learns a lot in the arms of a busy caregiver.
3. Sling babies are more organized. It's easier to understand babywearing when you think of a baby's gestation as lasting eighteen months – nine months inside the womb and at least nine more months outside. The womb environment automatically regulates baby's systems. Birth temporarily disrupts this organization. The more quickly, however, baby gets outside help with organizing these systems, the more easily he adapts to the puzzle of life outside the womb. By extending the womb experience, the babywearing mother (and father) provides an external regulating system that balances the irregular and disorganized tendencies of the baby. Picture how these regulating systems work. Mother's rhythmic walk, for example, (which baby has been feeling for nine months) reminds baby of the womb experience. This familiar rhythm, imprinted on baby's mind in the womb, now reappears in the "outside womb" and calms baby. As baby places her ear against her mother's chest, mother's heartbeat, beautifully regular and familiar, reminds baby of the sounds of the womb. As another biological regulator, baby senses mother's rhythmic breathing while worn tummy- to-tummy, chest-to-chest. Simply stated, regular parental rhythms have a balancing effect on the infant's irregular rhythms. Babywearing "reminds" the baby of and continues the motion and balance he enjoyed in the womb.
SLING TIP:
The womb lasts eighteen months: Nine months inside mother, and nine months outside.
What may happen if the baby spends most of his time lying horizontally in a crib, attended to only for feeding and comforting, and then again separated from mother? A newborn has an inherent urge to become organized, to fit into his or her new environment. If left to his own resources, without the regulating presence of the mother, the infant may develop disorganized patterns of behavior: colicky cries, jerky movements, disorganized self-rocking behaviors, anxious thumb sucking, irregular breathing, and disturbed sleep. The infant, who is forced to self-calm, wastes valuable energy he could have used to grow and develop.
While there is a variety of child-rearing theories, attachment researchers all agree on one thing: In order for a baby's emotional, intellectual, and physiological systems to function optimally, the continued presence of the mother, as during babywearing, is a necessary regulatory influence.
4. Sling babies get "humanized" earlier. Another reason that babywearing enhances learning is that baby is intimately involved in the caregiver's world. Baby sees what mother or father sees, hears what they hear, and in some ways feels what they feel. Carried babies become more aware of their parents' faces, walking rhythms, and scents. Baby becomes aware of, and learns from, all the subtle facial expressions, body language, voice inflections and tones, breathing patterns, and emotions of the caregiver. A parent will relate to the baby a lot more often, because baby is sitting right under her nose. Proximity increases interaction, and baby can constantly be learning how to be human. Carried babies are intimately involved in their parents' world because they participate in what mother and father are doing. A baby worn while a parent washes dishes, for example, hears, smells, sees, and experiences in depth the adult world. He is more exposed to and involved in what is going on around him. Baby learns much in the arms of a busy person.
5. Sling babies are smarter. Environmental experiences stimulate nerves to branch out and connect with other nerves, which helps the brain grow and develop. Babywearing helps the infant's developing brain make the right connections. Because baby is intimately involved in the mother and father's world, she is exposed to, and participates in, the environmental stimuli that mother selects and is protected from those stimuli that bombard or overload her developing nervous system. She so intimately participates in what mother is doing that her developing brain stores a myriad of experiences, called patterns of behavior. These experiences can be thought of as thousands of tiny short-run movies that are filed in the infant's neurological library to be rerun when baby is exposed to a similar situation that reminds her of the making of the original "movie." For example, mothers often tell me, "As soon as I pick up the sling and put it on, my baby lights up and raises his arms as if in anticipation that he will soon be in my arms and in my world."
I have noticed that sling babies seem more attentive, clicking into adult conversations as if they were part of it. Babywearing enhances speech development. Because baby is up at voice and eye level, he is more involved in conversations. He learns a valuable speech lesson – the ability to listen.
Normal ambient sounds, such as the noises of daily activities, may either have learning value for the infant or disturb him. If baby is alone, sounds may frighten him. If baby is worn, these sounds have learning value. The mother filters out what she perceives as unsuitable for the baby and gives the infant an "It's okay" feeling when he is exposed to unfamiliar sounds and experiences.

I wanted him to die old and grey, not just grey...

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Well yesterday was the day, our gentle giant was put to sleep. The cancer had spread rapidly into his leg and he couldnt walk any longer. It was a really hard day! I had made him his delicious last meal the night before, steak, bacon, hot dogs and peanut butter in turkey gravy.





 I think he knew, he savored every bite. We played with him in the morning. saying our final goodbyes.




We dropped zoey off at my moms and picked tank back up. We fed him his chocolate bar, his favorite.
 One christmas i put giant chocolate bars on all of the presents, to which he found them and ate them all. good thing he was like 160lbs it didnt affect him...lol.



We took him to the vet and he loved the ride there, im sure people were like what the heck is looking out of that truck! lol!




they took him in and put him in a room, we hugged and kissed him lots and lots. he got his iv and while Jim held him they put him to sleep. i sobbed for a long time. even the vet tech cried. :(

roxy has been going through some depression and it makes me so sad to watch her. she didnt eat for awhile and now just lays around not playing or being happy. weve had a couple dogs come over for to play with, but you can tell its not the same. Weve been tossing around the idea of getting another puppy. a great Pyrenees or a lab. but im not sure i can handle a baby and a puppy at the same time. looks like we will just have to do the dog park and have play dates for her :)

Sunday, April 1, 2012

light it up blue

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Well today is April 2, 2012, which is light it up blue day! April is Autism Awareness month. You can show your support to all the families who deal with autism on a daily basis, and raise awareness of this condition. Running into home depot last night i met a man who was also buying blue light bulbs. it made me smile thanking God we arent alone in this.

 My brother Mason has Autism. It has not been an easy journey for my family. Everyday is a battle. Where it is from Mason himself, with having meltdowns over things that seem to be so easy to us...or the evil eye stare we get while we are out shopping or in any other public place. Like a couple weeks ago I took him to toys r us and he picked out a toy to get. Some where in the store he had put the toy down to look at something else. When it was time to check out, he realized he didnt have the toy....major meltdown time. Any other kid would be disappointed but then chose another toy to take home. We are in the toy store :) but he needed that particular one. He threw himself on the floor repeatedly hitting his head on the concrete screaming he has to have THAT one. We are so use to it, that its not a big deal. But dont confuse that with not caring. We have seen it a thousand times, there is nothing we can say or do that will calm him, he has to work it out. A man and his 3 kids walk by, again the dirty look and the whispers. like we arent aware you are talking about us. After a minute or so he calms down enough for me to talk him through where he was and we go and look for the item. Luckily about 15 mins of searching we found it! we walk to the front, again with the eery feeling of stares on our backs and purchase our toys. I think that is what bothers me the most when we are out with him.yes kids say and do stupid things all the time. I work in a childrens spa and you should hear some of the information i hear about people. lol. but stares hurt. he knows your staring at him he knows hes different. hes not spoiled, he just cant process that what was suppose to happen...didnt. You would think with the national average 1 in 88, and a staggering 1 in 49 and 1 in 29 boys where i live! You would think that people in NJ would have an idea what was happening.  but they have no stinking idea. its easier to believe we screwed up and spoiled him rotten, so the stares and whispers continue. But insted of staring or offering your unwanted parenting advice, offer us a smile. Ask if you can help, tell us youve been there, tell us you understand what we are going through. At the very least dont stare and lecture us on what we could have done different. 

I cant tell you how much unwanted advice has been given to me about raising my children not to have autism. i need to breastfeed, well mason was too. I shouldnt give my child her vaccinations, that one blows my mind. I can deal with autism. i doesnt kill you....polio and pertussis do. ive been told to not have children, since it may be genetic. I have to eat this or do that. Im glad they are "concerned"about my child and any future children, but its basically saying if you have a special needs child we will treat them different.

 Well you know what i dont care if all my kids have special needs. they will be my child, and while yes i can say i dont want the world and growing up to be easy for them. they wont see ANY less love or devotion from me if they arent perfect in the worlds eyes. I had the opportunity to see if genetically i was a carrier. i didnt get tested. that is not important to me and wont stand in my way of having childen. i was ment to be a mom, no matter to who they are or become <3

 Mason has learned so much since hes be diagnosed, and really we have learned so much too. We dont take life as seriously. We kinda wait for him to shock people with what he will do and say and smile. Well, except for the time i came home from the hospital with zoey still looking 6 months pregnant, and him saying WHEN IS THAT ONE COMING OUT?! thanks mason. lol. hes a little social butterfly making friends where ever he goes. i cant wait to see where he goes in life, and i pray God blesses his wife with patience cause she will need it! <3

 

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