light it up blue

Well today is April 2, 2012, which is light it up blue day! April is Autism Awareness month. You can show your support to all the families who deal with autism on a daily basis, and raise awareness of this condition. Running into home depot last night i met a man who was also buying blue light bulbs. it made me smile thanking God we arent alone in this.

 My brother Mason has Autism. It has not been an easy journey for my family. Everyday is a battle. Where it is from Mason himself, with having meltdowns over things that seem to be so easy to us...or the evil eye stare we get while we are out shopping or in any other public place. Like a couple weeks ago I took him to toys r us and he picked out a toy to get. Some where in the store he had put the toy down to look at something else. When it was time to check out, he realized he didnt have the toy....major meltdown time. Any other kid would be disappointed but then chose another toy to take home. We are in the toy store :) but he needed that particular one. He threw himself on the floor repeatedly hitting his head on the concrete screaming he has to have THAT one. We are so use to it, that its not a big deal. But dont confuse that with not caring. We have seen it a thousand times, there is nothing we can say or do that will calm him, he has to work it out. A man and his 3 kids walk by, again the dirty look and the whispers. like we arent aware you are talking about us. After a minute or so he calms down enough for me to talk him through where he was and we go and look for the item. Luckily about 15 mins of searching we found it! we walk to the front, again with the eery feeling of stares on our backs and purchase our toys. I think that is what bothers me the most when we are out with him.yes kids say and do stupid things all the time. I work in a childrens spa and you should hear some of the information i hear about people. lol. but stares hurt. he knows your staring at him he knows hes different. hes not spoiled, he just cant process that what was suppose to happen...didnt. You would think with the national average 1 in 88, and a staggering 1 in 49 and 1 in 29 boys where i live! You would think that people in NJ would have an idea what was happening.  but they have no stinking idea. its easier to believe we screwed up and spoiled him rotten, so the stares and whispers continue. But insted of staring or offering your unwanted parenting advice, offer us a smile. Ask if you can help, tell us youve been there, tell us you understand what we are going through. At the very least dont stare and lecture us on what we could have done different. 

I cant tell you how much unwanted advice has been given to me about raising my children not to have autism. i need to breastfeed, well mason was too. I shouldnt give my child her vaccinations, that one blows my mind. I can deal with autism. i doesnt kill you....polio and pertussis do. ive been told to not have children, since it may be genetic. I have to eat this or do that. Im glad they are "concerned"about my child and any future children, but its basically saying if you have a special needs child we will treat them different.

 Well you know what i dont care if all my kids have special needs. they will be my child, and while yes i can say i dont want the world and growing up to be easy for them. they wont see ANY less love or devotion from me if they arent perfect in the worlds eyes. I had the opportunity to see if genetically i was a carrier. i didnt get tested. that is not important to me and wont stand in my way of having childen. i was ment to be a mom, no matter to who they are or become <3

 Mason has learned so much since hes be diagnosed, and really we have learned so much too. We dont take life as seriously. We kinda wait for him to shock people with what he will do and say and smile. Well, except for the time i came home from the hospital with zoey still looking 6 months pregnant, and him saying WHEN IS THAT ONE COMING OUT?! thanks mason. lol. hes a little social butterfly making friends where ever he goes. i cant wait to see where he goes in life, and i pray God blesses his wife with patience cause she will need it! <3